Wednesday - Home again, home again jiggerty-jig

I did read somewhere that this particular pub locked its gate overnight.

It's slashing down with rain, getting from the back of the van to the front requires Olympic athlete long-jump skills to avoid the large puddle around the entire back half of the van. Horrid. I've got wet turning off the gas and removing the silver screen, now I've got to put my wet raincoat again on to go find someone to let us out!

The journey is OK until Coles Hill and then all the huge motorway roundabouts, heavy lorry traffic and heavy rain make driving hard. I get the wrong lane on one roundabout and have to force my way back against car horns to avoid being forced onto the M6.

The original plan was to stop at perhaps Buxton or Ashbourne and then again at Leamington Spa. Too wet for that, so perhaps Warwick before leaving the A roads for the M40. Nope the main road to Warwick is closed so M42 it is. That means Gaydon services for or break. At least they reminded me of why I hate motorway services (apart from the private ones like Tebay and Gloucester). Starbucks coffee was not great and I've had beer almond croissant. The tiny Waitrose didn't sell the sort of drinks or snacks we were looking for. It's still chucking it down. Has better days

But it gets worse. There's been an accident on the A34 N Oxford (looks like it only happened about 5 mins earlier). Liz has a cunning plan and we detour via an interesting and narrow backroad. Good job I had slowed slightly for the steep-humpback bridge, because whatever hump I hit about 40m before it hit sent the rear suspension crashing down and bottoming out with an almighty bang! I doubt the MAD assister springs survived that so that's a £400 repair, and there were only new in Jan. I do hope that's the total extent of the damage, it was a very worrying thump! 

Of course Sod's law says it just had to stop raining just as we got home! 

Here's the just over 200 mile horrible journey

Tuesday - a missed blog?

Well I could talk about shopping in Hebdon Bridge, the Museum in Halifax, the stop-start drive through Sowerby Bridge until the road opened up with the wide open spaces of Rishworth and then Saddleworth Moors. Then the stop-start again in the school traffic around the outside of Oldham, and on through Denton to finally meet up with a friend in Duckingfield. Or the surprise steep climb along Cowlishaw Lane in Hyde suddenly opening up to fantastic views on both sides before dropping down into Marple Bridge and the Spring Gardens pub which has graciously consented to us staying in their car park overnight. 

But if I did all that, and sorted our photos etc, it really wouldn't do justice to the excellent beers I had in the pub giving me that sort of "can't be bothered" feeling

So here's today's 46 miles with its 2,500m of climb

Monday's ups and downs

Today's first task, decide where we are going to stay tonight. No, today's first task, go to Wetherspoons for breakfast, it's easier than trying to wash up after porridge etc in the van, and more importantly Wetherspoons probably has nicer toilets than in the van, especially at that time of day 

Today's second task is to decide where to stay tonight, something discussed over a Wetherspoons' breakfast. My first option was the car park in Skipton but apparently that can fill up. Searching around we discover Heptonstall Bowls Club, just a few hundred meters vertically above Hebden Bridge in the Calder Valley. A quick phone call to check they aren't booked (yes, often you have to book overnight car park slots!) and we are sorted. 

On to the day's third task deciding where to go, but that is already part decided. After a quick mooch around Ripon, refueling with diesel e'ill head off to the nearby Fountains Abbey. It's National Trust so free, and the weather is nice. 

Like all abbeys and monasteries after the reformation it is a load of ruins, but it is a heck of a big and impressive load of ruins! 

A very good guide in the Porter's Lodge has both a potted history and a huge model of the abbey in its heyday.

However, it's not Fountains Abbey that is UNESCO listed but the adjacent Studeley Royal Water Gardens. Not enough time to explore these properly, we were already getting on for there hours on site, something for next time perhaps! 

But the nearby Victorian church was pretty, with some nice stained glass and a somewhat special organs to those in the know. I managed to arrange for the guide to give us a tune or two. Glorious sounds in what was not a huge church

Ripon Cathedral is much larger. I wonder if you can tell that from the view of it at the far end of the lime avenue beside the church

Time is pressing on. Google tells us it's almost two hours to Heptonstall and we don't have any food for dinner. 

The road across the dales via Pately Bridge to Grassington is hard work, lots of long 1 in 6 climbs followed by 1 in 6 descents, with cyclists carefully positioned along the climbs (never descents) to ensure that once you get a head of steam up you have to brake and drop back to first gear. Mind you the views were magnificent in places. 

At Grassington the East-West road rotates to North-South, following a valley, the drive into Skipton in much easier. Shopping done but it's now 5:15, Skipton is already stop-start traffic and the route takes us down through Keighley, it's going to be slow. So navigator Liz announces a change of plan, we are heading west into Lancashire, barely touching the outskirts of Colne before heading on the 10 mile white road across the top of Heptonstall moor. "Do you think that road’s OK?”, asks I, "maybe" comes the reply!

Dunno about "alright", but "interesting, buttock-clenching, needing extreme care" are words and phrases that might be a better description. It's just about two lane, if vehicles pass slowly enough to really hug the verge, but even that luxury disappears in many places, tight bends both in the horizontal and vertical plane make the driving "interesting" without the added joy of an occasionally indifferent road surface. Oh and there's a 1 in 4 hill with possibly the tightest hairpin I've ever negotiated. 

After probably getting on for 30 minutes for those 10 miles, I am relieved to see the village of Heptonstall. Relief is short-lived as the van bone-shakes it's way down the village's main street

Must take a walk tomorrow, looking for gold - dislocated teeth fillings!

Just 71 miles but with over 3700m of climbs! 

The speed and altitude stats are interesting

Sunday - Mr Dale's Diary

About 10:15 this morning, on the M6, we passed the border line and are now back in the country where sausage isn't square and the pubs have handpumps. 

We don't tend to do much motorway driving in the van, preferring the smaller, more interesting roads. After all, we are rarely in a rush. But had we not driven the M6 we would not have stopped at Tebay services and I would not have exited with half a dozen bottles of interesting local beers. Tebay is quite famous for being a privately owned motorway services, and like Gloucester it is refreshing to find a different range of stuff, and a particularly good selection of local beers. 

The route is through Sedburgh, Hawes and Leyburn before heading south through Masham to our destination, Ripon. Glorious Yorkshire dales country and a great road up and down hill, tight bends and a pleasure to drive. Trouble is it is an even more a pleasure to motorbikers and today's sunshine brought them out in droves, in the same way it did the midges a few days ago. I've never seen so many motorbikes, easily outnumbering cars.

But. Those lovely twisty bends are dangerous. Shortly into our journey we are flagged down, directed to the other carriageway and told to proceed very slowly. Sadly, a biker is down, What's left of his bike on top of him. He did look in a bad way, we do hope he made it. 

Very unsettling, an instant drop of 10mph average speed to ensure if any oncoming biker is white-lining a bend then we have room to allow him to avoid us. We really are very shaken! 

A break at Hawes, a quick coffee, for some reason they were cash only

and a quick  wander

Onwards past even more spectacular waterfalls and magnificent scenery but no stopping to snap. Discussion in the van goes along the lines of "We really ought find some time to holiday up here"

Bikes everywhere, but no further incidents so a quick stop in Leyburn, where we find local ice-cream, expensive but very good. Makes a change to taste cream rather than chemicals.

Didn't bother talking the diversion to Masham village centre past Theakston's brewery - been there, done that, but the route did take us past Black Sheep. So many reasons to stop, but I'm driving! 

We arrive at Ripon in good time early afternoon, time to park up and go for a wander. An amazing amount of shops open Sunday afternoon. The lady in the charity shop interrupts my CD browsing with fresh stock and places both a Joni Mitchell and an ELP CD in the pile in front of me. They could have gone straight into my backpack and cut out the middleman!

It's still hot, it's been a long hot drive, we're hot. OK I don't need excuses, we go for a beer. The pub had an unusual chandelier (and an excellent pint of Timothy Taylor Landlord) 

Oh yeah, we are in Ripon for two reasons. Firstly the long stay Marygate car park is just £2.40 for 24 hours. Yes, that really is 24 hours, we have to leave by 2:47 tomorrow afternoon; when we left to go out for a meal we were one of about 8 vans planning to stay overnight. 

And here we are at 9:30 tonight, in an almost empty carpark

But we know we are safe. The night watch has been set! OK, I said that there were two reasons to come to Ripon, here's the second. 

Believing to go back as far as Ripon's founding charter in 886AD and definitely documented in 1598 Ripon has a nightly "setting off the watch" where a horn is blown at each of the four corners or the market square. Why? Because it was the town's night watchman announcing his presence and informing townsfolk that all was well, the night watch would watch over the city so they could sleep sound in their beds. When the original 'wakesman' became the town's lord mayor (back in the 1600s) he didn't fancy the daily imposition so hired a watchman hornblower to do the job instead. But, not being a trusting kind of soul he then insisted the watchman find him, wherever he might be within the city, and give him personally and extra three blasts to confirm that the watch has actually been set. It might seem like a load of mediaeval hokum but after his four long blasts in the town square our watchman assured us he was jumping in his car and heading off a mile and a half to the mayor's house, in nothing else then to annoy the neighbours!

It is the oldest continual daily ceremony in the UK and probably the entire world. So why wouldn't we go see it? 

A couple of random snaps to finish, both from the Wetherspoons pub, The Unicorn

Firstly Lewis Carroll fans will recognise this

And secondly it's nice to be warm when you are on the loo

Just over 112 miles today

Saturday - Almost England

A quick aside before I start the blog proper.

Remember that about three nights ago we overnighted by a lochside and had our first experience of midges. What a difference between the two of us, Liz is apparently unscathed except for the very odd bite, me I look like a cross between a measles victim and a join the dots book! And they do itch! 

Fortunately that was our only real encounter and hopefully heading south now means it will be both our first and last.

After a very pleasant pub car park stay last night today's first port of call is just down the road - Castle Douglas, Scotland's food town. It's actually a pleasant little town to stroll through but the excellent little bread bakers didn't have the magnificent borodinsky loaf they had last time we visited - that was eight years ago, mind you. They actually had some frozen but none fresh today - shame, probably the best bread I've ever eaten.

Anyway the other highlights of Castle Douglas are the Sulwath Brewery tap room (I was driving so we didn't visit), an excellent wool and craft shop for Liz, and a great beer emporium for me. We both bought things!

A couple of random snaps

One weird thing about much of Scotland is parking.  We parked in Tesco. No charge, no signs, no max time limit, just a note about parking in bays. It'll be strange back home with "Customers Only", 2 hours max, pay and display refundable on £5 or more purchases etc.

We really only have a couple of things on the agenda today which I'll cover shortly, but have time to kill so we pop into Annan. Deciding to miss the distillery was a mistake as there was little else in town! Still the town hall was a nice bit of architecture

Ok first of our agenda items the excellent Devil's Porridge Museum in Eastrigg. As WW1 became a not "over by Christmas" event Britain decided it desperately needed munitions so the Eastriggs and Gretna area became the home to the NINE MILES LONG cordite manufacturing HM Factory Gretna where the various buildings, greatly separated for safety against explosion, were services by 250 miles of rail-track.A phenomenal undertaking made even more so by the fact that the vast majority of workers were female, many under 20. Remember this was an era where women didn't work, or if they did they were in service or shop assistants. And God, it must have been awful, they had to work with both nitric and sulphuric acid with only basic face masks. One plant involved using neat alcohol and ether, and women were regularly sent to the hospital to recover from being rendered unconscious from the fumes. Hospital, oh yes, HM Factory Gretna had in excess of 16,000 workers so complete townships were built to accommodate them along with hospital, cinemas, schools, police stations etc. An incredible undertaking both helping to win the war and also forwarding women's causes, accelerating women's sufferage and helping that 1928 decision to grant them a vote in the same terms as men. 

The factory was built by navvies, many of whom heralded from Ireland and gave proof to the claim that they could sup a beer or whisky or two. Rather than prohibition the government took over all the pubs in the Carlisle, Gretna area, weakened the beer, made the pubs welcoming by providing eateries, bowling greens etc. A brilliant attempt at social engineering which bizarrely continued until 1973, yes pubs in the area were nationalised into the seventies and even then many locals didn't want to see the repeal of Carlisle Experiment, as it became known.

I must admit the museum was so fascinating I failed to take any photos but Liz supplied this one

(Carsberg lager, and Special Brew in 1958 came as a surprise to me!)

After WWI the factory was disbanded and sold off but parts were reused for munition storage just those short few years later during WWII. On into the cold war era the area still kept up with munitions technology, the nearby Chapelcross nuclear power station may well have serviced the National Grid in provision of electricity but it's main goal was the production of weapons grade plutonium!

OK, no prizes, where are we?

Yeah, yeah Gretna Green!

It's all a bit schmaltzy these days 

Actually we are overnighting on someone's drive in nearby Gretna (without the 'Green'). A long wide drive provides overnight accommodation for up to 6 vans, chemical loo and dirty water emptying, and a fresh water tap - all for the princely sum of £10 a night. Actually it's worth it to be able to empty the loo.

Just 54 miles today

Oh, yeah, I mentioned we had two things on our agenda today. Gretna has an outlet village, Liz wanted to look at both M&S and Mountain Warehouse for stuff. We came away with nothing, excepting for an increased dislike of the obscene consumerism embodied in these places.

Friday - Red or Dead

Well the van didn't roll away in the night! We have parking paid until 10am but it's almost that by the time we've washed up after breakfast, so another hour's is bought. Why? Because we are hoping to take photos like this

A simple itinerary today ending at a CAMRA Good Beer Guide pub. First stop is back at Creetown, yesterday's fleeting visit didn't allow us to stop at the museum 

And what a delight it is too. The old boy saddles with being custodian for the day took great pleasure in explaining the area's fortune throughvgranite quarring. It was surprisingly interesting. The museum itself was jam packed full of very local memorabilia, which made everything at a human level, well everything but the story of the talking jackdaw which would perch on the home team's crossbar and croak encouragement!

And if you remember yesterday's blog with me lamenting to sad state of the Ellangowan Hotel you will know why I just had to snap this exhibit

Just along at Cairn Holy there's a nice chambered cairn. It's half a mile (or so) up a very narrow single track road with few passing places. Was it worth it? You can judge

Coming back we meet a VW van, one of us is going to have to reverse quite a way, it's easier for him downhill, so he does. We pass, wind-down windows, and have a pleasant chat. Ah, civilised driving eh!

Anyway, I digress from my Wicker Man narrative; next stop is Anwoth where the iconic graveyard and school house scenes were shot

Well finding these places excited me, at least!

Roads at the nearby Gatehouse Of Fleet (don't worry we'll meet an even stranger town name later) were closed and the town was jam packed with some very fit looking cyclists. Apparently The Gralloch is about to take place https://www.grallochgravel.com/

We still had a quick mooch but it is just another small town. This High Street gateway did seem to fit in well with the Wicker Man theme though

 Kirkudbright however is an artists town. Even the car park has a statue

A bigger town and the artist connection (think Newly or St. Ives) means there are a lot of nice craft shops. Not that we want anything. The museum turned out to be an art gallery. There was actually much I liked (not always the case) and exhibitions by Andy Goldsworthy and, in particular, the amazing glass sculpture and etching by Alison Kinnaird were definitely worth the entrance fee (which was free, by the way!). If you have a mo, do look up Alison Kinnaird's work, it really worked for me. 

It's almost pub time but not quite, so we drive round to Dalbeattie just to sit in the van for 30 minutes. There's a knock on the door and someone wants a quick tour of the van, he is thinking of getting a van, probably a bit larger, but wanted to know about van life. Funny, a few years ago, especially in Europe we would regularly get a ”I sink zis is nice van, pleez you show" but it's been a while now. Sounds like today's enquiror is a younger me; as well as the van both folk music and real ale is discussed! Small world. 

Tonight's bed is in the carpark of The Laurie Arms, the only pub in the Haugh Of Urr (see I told you there would be an even more unusual name). It was local CAMRA pub of the year a couple of years ago but out of season it has just two real ales on, which rapidly drops to one this evening. Still the food is good and the clientele are obviously discerning if the owner of this 1942 Harley is anything to go by

Just 51 miles today but almost all in the direction of Gretna, gateway to England